The uproar was and remains as ludicrous as it was and remains deafening – no sooner had the announcement been made did the blogosphere, and most dubiously, Twitter and Facebook, rain a firestorm of resentment, disgust, humour, shock and actual concern with such ridiculous exaggerated abandon you would think that Brett Ratner was hired to co-direct “Schindler’s List” with Michael Bay as an action musical starring Mel Gibson as a homosexual Jew.
Dear everyone (especially you geeks): seriously, calm the fuck down. If not-great/not-bad actor (yet a terrific director) Ben Affleck has your blood boiling for being the latest Batman then perhaps it’s time to put down the latest copy of whatever superhero comic you’re reading, log off The Nerdist, pull your underoos out of your asses and take a deep breath. After all, it’s only a movie.
But, you want a nerd revolt? Fine. I respect your passions, no matter how supercilious and misdirected. So, here’s a good one – focus on the more perturbing fact that Zack Snyder is directing the still-untitled project (it’s being called “Batman Vs. Superman” around the web, though that’s not official). From “300” to “Watchmen” to “Sucker Punch,” all the way to this summer’s dreary, poorly acted existential gobbledygook “Man of Steel” (where was the uproar over Henry Cavill’s lackluster, sterile performance?) – the man is responsible for some of the most abysmal, unwatchable pieces of pop culture drivel of the past decade. THERE’S your mutiny – one I happily endorse.
And come on – didn’t we all complain when Christian Bale was announced as the new Caped Crusader? (Yeah, stop lying.) Christopher Nolan’s “Batman Begins,” “The Dark Knight,” and “The Dark Knight Rises” decimated the cheesiness of the previous series and elevated the comic book movie to an artform. I won’t state falsely that Bale’s brooding Batman hindered the trilogy – but at the same time, I won’t say that it was his grunting or mumbling that raised the trifecta either.
Those protesting Affleck love throwing around “Gigli” and “Jersey Girl” (his dreaded Bennifer phase), and most risibly “Daredevil.” These were bad films, sure, and surely miscast (in regards to “Daredevil”) – but let’s face reality: no one – not even Bale – could have hoisted the films as anything than what they were/are. Of course Bale is the infinitely superior actor. But Affleck is no dunce (nor is he the second coming of Olivier either, natch). But if you’ve seen his performances in “Chasing Amy,” “The Town,” “Hollywoodland,” the underrated “Changing Lanes,” and of course, the recent Oscar-winning “Argo,” you’ll just have to come to terms and admit the fact that he doesn’t deserve to be the punch line, and he should never be underestimated.
For what it’s worth, I wasn’t a fan of Tim Burton’s “Batman” or “Batman Returns,” or Michael Keaton’s role as Batman, though Keaton brought a cheekiness and charm to the role. Yet people tend to forget that, once upon a time there was no Internet. And few remember the shock and dismay when Burton chose Keaton to star. And just recently. the pre-twitter pre-Facebook online world hated Heath Ledger as choice of The Joker. We know how both turned out.
Will Affleck’s Batman be a total disaster? Of course it could be. Of monumental proportions. Or, not – maybe he’ll surprise everyone. Thing is, no one knows – especially the tsunami of naysayers and wannabe critics whose risible tweets and FB comments have saturated social media in the past 24 hours.
But let’s face it – no matter how bad Affleck will (or will not) be in the role, I can predict, sight unseen, that he’ll be light years ahead of Val Kilmer and George Clooney.
Having finally seen every major Oscar contender (hooray for Oscar screeners!) for the first time in years, I can now throw my proverbial hat into the imaginary ring and announce which films I would vote for – if a non-Academy member (you know, a peon!) like me actually had any say in the matter. (I don’t. Oh well.) These aren’t my guesses of who or what will win, but who and what should win, or at least who I’d give the Oscar to. My office Oscar pool ballot is a coalescence of gut feeling and what I think will happen more than what I hope will come to fruition – the following choices enact more than an iota of said hope while remaining a fantasy of “if only…” (Again, oh well.)
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BEST PICTURE
AMOUR ARGO BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD DJANGO UNCHAINED LES MISERABLES LIFE OF PI LINCOLN SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK ZERO DARK DIRTY
Argo
Of the nine nominees, I struggled between two – BEASTS and ARGO – as to which I would give my symbolic vote to. Finally, I went with which film I enjoyed the most over emotional heft. Every now and then a film comes along that haunts me with it’s beauty, originality, breathtaking simplicity. And every now and then, a child actor comes along, who’s never acted before, that stuns me. That great film is BEASTS… and that astonishing actress is named Quvenzhané Wallis (more on her later). Yet no other film thrilled me more than ARGO, which harkened back to the days of classic 1970s Hollywood political dramas (it even looks the part) – it’s a fantastic entertainment. While it took liberties with actual events – hey, it was “based” on a true story, and not a documentary – it was simultaneously intense, rousing and, surprisingly, very funny. And, thanks to the snubbed Ben Affleck, expertly crafted. So, by a very thin thread, I would have voted for ARGO.
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BEST DIRECTOR
Michael Haneke AMOUR Ang Lee LIFE OF PI David O Russell SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Steven Spielberg LINCOLN Benh Zeitlin BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
Director Steven Spielberg w/Daniel Day Lewis
I’m still not sure who I’d vote for here, though I would remove Russel’s name. I enjoyed SLP, but it’s a performance-driven movie, and it’s filled with some pretty terrific ones (having not read the book, I’m not sure if the contrived predictability is the fault of Russell, or if he was just manifesting it onto the screen). Ben Affleck’s snub in this category is already legendary (even risible conspiracy theories!) – every expert and non-expert has weighed in and countless words have been written, so I’ll not comment further other than to agree that he was, indeed, “robbed.” Zeitlin’s masterful BEASTS was a debut – hence the nod was the reward itself – and already he shows a craft that will thrill for years. Spielberg is still on top of his game, and while LIFE OF PI was far from perfect, it was still gorgeous to watch, and Ang Lee proves again his mastery. And it still stuns me that the same man who made the heinous FUNNY GAMES, and it’s equally odious American remake, was the same man who directed the great AMOUR.
Proverbial gun pointed to my head? I’d probably give the Oscar to Spielberg – LINCOLN was fascinating and Spielberg has proven he’s not lost his magic – he’s crafted what could’ve easily become a lethargic, mind-numbingly dull history lesson into a complex, absorbing human drama.
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BEST ACTOR
Bradley Cooper SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Daniel Day Lewis LINCOLN Hugh Jackman LES MISERABLES Joaquin Phoenix THE MASTER Denzel Washington FLIGHT
Daniel Day Lewis as LINCOLN
In any other year, this probably would have been the battle of Cooper and Jackman. After two insultingly unfunny HANGOVER shit-fests and THE A-TEAM debacle, it was a revelation to learn that Cooper can actually – no, seriously – act! His multilayered portrayal of a man suffering from bi-polar disorder is infused with pathos and hope. Jackman’s Valjean is what Oscar dreams are made of – he’s a beloved actor, a consummate showman, and a beautiful man to behold – and despite his vocal tics, which didn’t help an already-hindered LES MIZ(read my less than enthusiastic review here), he’s a powerful force. But if there is one absolute at this year’s Academy Awards celebration, it’s that Lewis will win, and incontrovertibly deserves, the Oscar. Arguably the greatest actor alive (the man has never given a single sub-par performance), he already possesses (earned) two, and this will be his record-breaking third. His portrait of Lincoln is nothing short of transcendent.
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BEST ACTRESS
Jessica Chastain ZERO DARK THIRTY Jennifer Lawrence SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Emmauelle Riva AMOUR Quvenzhane Wallis BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD Naomi Watts THE IMPOSSIBLE
Emmauelle Riva in AMOUR
Walking through the taut ZERO DARK THIRTY in stone-faced rigidity, I was surprised (but not really) that the omnipresent Chastain garnered her second Oscar nod. But despite that inclusion, this is probably the strongest acting category; the rest of the nominees are stellar. Wallis was 6 years old when BEASTS was filmed and at 9 became the youngest actress to ever be nominated as lead. Of course she won’t win, but what a rare feat of history for the Academy to recognize this profoundly moving film and the stentorian lil’ actress at the center and I would cheer if, by some miracle, her name is called. I will also applaud wildly if Watts wins for one of 2012s greatest films – her performance was miraculous. The real competition, though, is between the 86-year-old Riva (the oldest nominee in history) as a woman who suffered a stroke and is in the diminishing days of her life (her co-star, Jean-Louis Trintignant, as her husband and caretaker, was unjustly neglected this awards season), and Lawrence’s intricately balanced role as a woman living with the demons that haunt her reality, who falls in love with a man with his own ghosts. Both wondrous performances, but my vote would go to Riva. She’s sublime, masterful and heartbreaking – rarely has the sad degringolade of a person’s life been so shatteringly rendered on film.
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BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin ARGO Robert DeNiro SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Philip Seymore Hoffman THE MASTER Tommy Lee Jones LINCOLN Christoph Waltz DJANGO UNCHAINED
Robert DeNiro in SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
It’s a close – and still tough – call between Robert DeNiro and the great Tommy Lee Jones, who, as House abolitionist Thaddeus Stevens, is absolutely brilliant in LINCOLN. Once the most vibrant, exhilarating actor alive, DeNiro has been coasting on his legend for two plus decades (see also Jack Nicholson) – his choices of roles have been (predominantly) dubious, with the performances to match, as he happily cashed his paychecks. But in SLP, the aesthetic of DeNiro is resurrected with humor, despair, indifference, sadness and finally joy. And for bringing that humanity back to us, I would vote for DeNiro. I think. Okay, sure. But by a very slim margin.
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BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams THE MASTER Sally Field LINCOLN Anne Hathaway LES MISERABLES Helen Hunt THE SESSIONS Jacki Weaver SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Sally Field as Mary Todd-Lincon
Another 2013 Oscar axiom is that this is Anne Hathaway’s year. LES MIZ is wildly popular, and Hathaway’s won more than a few awards on the way to the Kodak theater. As Fantine, she was effective, exhibiting the desperation and piteousness of her distraught grisette. Despite winning the New York Film Critic’s award and the nomination, Field has been criticized and even mocked for her periodic histrionics. However, Field has always had a flair for melodrama – it won her two Best Actress Oscars already, thank you very much – and that trademark theatricality elevates the portrayal of Mary Todd-Lincoln’s bi-polarism to a more historical accuracy. Her dramaturgy was a feast. She would get my vote.
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Other Nominees, Other Choices:
Original Screenplay: AMOUR Adapted Screenplay: LINCOLN Documentary: SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN Song: SKYFALL by Adele Original Score: LIFE OF PI Visual Effects: LIFE OF PI Animated Feature: WRECK-IT RALPH
Happy New Year again, one and all – it’s been a few weeks, I understand, and I thank all of you who have inquired about the lack of posts-a-plenty. But, there’s a legitimate excuse – I’ve had the flu, missed almost a week of work, and still can’t shake this groggy, nasty head cold due to this arctic freeze we’ve been slogging through this week (at least here in NY).
Oh, woe is me, blah blah blah. I’ll try to update as frequently as possible, but I can’t even promise myself I will. Especially since I’ll soon be writing my American Idol Report Card on a weekly basis.
But, I’m meandering now. Here is my first post of 2009 (also, see the post script below)~
If you haven’t seen “Slumdog Millionaire”, you’re missing a juxtaposition of wonderment, sadness, darkness, exhilaration, surprise, giddiness and unadulterated joy and finally, romance. Because of its popularity and copious awards (it will be a sure-fire Oscar contender), there’s a backlash brewing already.
I say, fuck the naysayers who’ll hate it based solely on its mass appeal (don’t you hate people like that?!) ~ enthrall yourself in its magic. Sit back, suspend some belief and relish in the amazing script by Simon Beaufoy (you’ll wonder why no one’s thought of some of these plot points before, so archetypal it is) and the natural, beautiful performances (most notably from the two leads, Dev Patel, the adorable actor who’s one of the stars in the great BBC show “Skins”, and the intoxicating, stunning Freida Pinto).
I said it before, I’ll say it again ~ it’s hard to fathom that the same man who made the disgustingly demented “Trainspotting” helmed such a tale. But, Danny Boyle also made one of my favorite films of the past few years, “Millions”.
Here’s the last scene and closing credits of the film, where the cast dances, in grand ol’ Bollywood style, to “Jai Ho”~
Enjoy ~ because it’s only a matter of time before Fox Searchlight has it removed!
My New Boyfriend 