I Vant To Suck Your…Blood?
*****
Long averted to the vampire craze that has permeated the Pop Culture landscape more prevalently these past few years than ever before, friends of mine have been insisting that for the past 2 years I have no idea what I’ve been missing (even while sympathizing with my derision for the two polluted, putrid TWILIGHT films).
But I had to chuckle at HBOs newest promo “poster” for the upcoming 3rd season of its popular TRUE BLOOD series. Always with its prescient eye on the argot, HBO utilizes, cleverly, the omnipresent acronym for, well, you know.
Sadly, though, it’s not enough to persuade me to actually watch the show.
They Are The World
I say lesbian fetus Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Joe Jonas and all the auto-tuned train-wrecks can eat shit. THIS is THE definitive WE ARE THE WORLD 2010! (Even though it was posted in 2009…) Methinks that much more money could’ve been raised for Haiti if the geniuses forewent the disastrous official vid.
Music Box: He Bangs (Sorry Ladies)!
*****
Latin/Pop Megastar, new father (and one of the sexiest men on the planet) Ricky Martin has finally shaken his bon bon’s publicly, smashing his own personal glass closet, and proclaimed what most of the universe has already known for years…
A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And thisis something worth celebrating.
For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that’s the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It’s my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don’t ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I’m at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I’m feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.
Many people told me: “Ricky it’s not important”, “it’s not worth it”, “all the years you’ve worked and everything you’ve built will collapse”, “many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature”. Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.
If someone asked me today, “Ricky, what are you afraid of?” I would answer “the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war…child slavery, terrorism…the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith.” But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.
These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.
What will happen from now on? It doesn’t matter. I can only focus on what’s happening to me in this moment. The word “happiness” takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.
I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.
*****
Gratuitous heat…
Just Say No (Pants On The Ground Edition)
*****
via NY1:
State Senator Eric Adams is launching a campaign to discourage kids from wearing saggy pants.
The Brooklyn lawmaker released a YouTube video over the weekend to encourage younger people to demonstrate their confidence by pulling up their pants and ending the sagging pants trend.
Adams also unveiled a new billboard campaign throughout the borough with phrases like “Raise your pants, raise your image!” to encourage young Brooklynites to pull their pants up.
Adams says that while kids will be kids, it’s up to adults to send the right message.
The”Stop the Sag” billboards will be installed today in several locations including Rockaway Parkway, Franklin Avenue, Nostrand Avenue and Fulton Street.
Adams says he used $2,000 in campaign funds to pay for the ads.
Ratz In A Cage
*****
It’s no secret my disdain for religion, but especially the Catholic Church, the Vatican, and the malevolent Pope Benedict. Well, in light of the ever-more prevalent crimes against humanity that have been brought to life in recent weeks, I felt the need to revisit this classic moment in TV.
I literally cheered Sinead O’Connor then and always will, for her steadfast truth, her honesty, her powerful conviction – and for one of the supreme moments in the history of TV; castigating the despicable Pope John Paul and the cesspool of debased humanity known as the Vatican for their crimes against children and their millions of stupid, foolish sheep. She was castigated, she was maligned, her career halted in its tracks…and she was right.
The satanic forces of the Catholic church, the Pope and the Vatican as a whole, historically – and still today – has been a purely evil institution, whose sole purpose of existing is to thwart the free will of their blinded flock, to rape their children, to pillage their bank accounts, to pass judgment and condemnation on humanity via archaic tomes they themselves created, while having no morality themselves. Harsh? No. Truth.
I dedicate this to the current, wicked Pope AKA Joseph Alois RATZinger AKA Pimp Benedict/Beelzebub. Finally – FINALLY – his participation in these crimes is coming to a light brilliant enough to brighten the darkest caverns of time.
Fight the real enemy? FIGHT THE REAL ENEMIES!
Thank You…For Being A Friend
♪♫ Don't Cry For Me, Rue McClanahan...♪♫
*****
UPDATE March 11 via People.com:
BETTY WHITE SNL Hosting Date Confirmed
Now that over 480,000 Facebook fans have put in their request, Betty White will finally make an appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live.’
The ‘Golden Girls’ actress will host the show on May 8, WNBC News announced Thursday morning (via PEOPLE). The special Mother’s Day episode will also reunite six former female ‘SNL’ cast members: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch.
The show’s creator-producer, Lorne Michaels, admits the Facebook campaign “took on a groundswell.”
“[White as the host] isn’t something we would have said no to, [but the campaign] validated that, ‘Oh, that’d be fun’ … It was the outpouring of affection from fans, and we feel the same way,” Michaels added.
The Emmy-winning actress broke the news earlier this week at the 18th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Viewing Party, but has remained tight-lipped on the full details of her appearance.
While she’s hosting the Mother’s Day special, White has not children of her own. Michaels has an answer for any critics, explaining “She’s the mother of us all in comedy.”
The 88-year-old earned big laughs while accepting her SAG Lifetime Achievement award in January. She followed that with a surprise appearance in a Super Bowl commercial for Snickers. Fans quickly took notice and launched the now-famous campaign.
*****
At long last, the timeless Betty White has confirmed to People Magazine what nearly 500,000 Facebook fans (including me) have rallied for – she will be hosting an upcoming episode of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE:
When asked by PEOPLE, “Are you doing Saturday Night Live,” she answered, “Yes,” even if she remains perplexed by the groundswell of support.
“I don’t know why or how,” she says, “but it’s been wonderful.”
And with that, we can all say, thank you…for being a friend…
Will & Duh
*****
While it’s always admirable when a ‘celebrity’ – even a pseudo-celebrity as he’s since become – comes out, Sean Hayes’ delayed response to the decade-old inquiries is a case of better late than never. As popular as WILL & GRACE was in its initial seasons, Hayes’ coyness and flippancy on the subject of his sexuality was an irritant, especially considering his off-screen persona practically mirrored his onscreen Jack McFarland.
But what’s more irksomely correct is his unapologetic proclamation. In the interview, Hayes says he was “never in. Never.” Well, while that can be argued, mootly I surmise, his insistence that “I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it…” is sorta true. When WILL & GRACE first aired, and the gay community heralded its groundbreaking season, I called his Jack a “gay minstrel show, like the Wayans Brothers IN LIVING COLORs ‘Men On Film’ on speed”. Kinda harsh, in retrospect, but as the seasons progressed, McFarland, as well as Will, Grace and the drug-addled Karen characters, became exaggerations, each mired inside their psychological problems, their addictions, paranoia’s, self-indulgences, dementia…ironically making them all the more lovable. And, in an asexual, monochromatic fashion – and for better or worse – his Hayes’ Jack paved the way for every sexless, adorable, persnickety gay curmudgeon for years to come. It can be argued that the onslaught of homo-fabulousness would be lacking in every last reality show currently permeating the airwaves without the birth of Jack McFarland.
Would there be a Logo network without his existence? Probably. But how dull would Bravo be?
The Rancid-Foot Locker
As hilarious as your wheelchair-bound grandmother getting slammed by a runaway bus in a horrendous hit and run, left bleeding in the street, while sewer roaches feast on her innards and pigeons peck at her rotting, lifeless corpse.
You know, just like THE JERSEY SHORE!
