September 2009 – My New Boyfriend

Music Box: Regulate…G(ay) Funk Error

I’m not sure what’s worse – Warren G’s ignorant homphobia (in the vein of, “hey, some of my best friends are…”), his assault on the English language (not uncommon in this “thug culture” we’ve curiously embraced), or the fact that Vanity Fair has dedicated time and space on the thoughts of a one-maybe-two hit wonder?

Here’s what the “G” man said:

I ain’t against gay people. I’m just against it being promoted to kids…I know people that’s gay. My wife’s got friends that are gay. I got family that’s gay. Cousins and shit. He cool as fuck. He cool as a motherfucker. He’s my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got dudes kissing. And kids are watching that shit. We can’t have kids growing up with that…I know it happens, but let’s keep it behind the scenes. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it if that’s what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that’s not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don’t want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain’t how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain’t got no problem with the gays.

Imagine the uproar if we substituted the word “black” for “gay”:

I ain’t against black people. I’m just against it being promoted to kids…I know people that’s black. My wife’s got friends that are black. I got family that’sblack. Cousins and shit. He cool as fuck. He cool as a motherfucker. He’s my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got blacks kissing. And kids are watching that shit. We can’t have kids growing up with that…I know it happens, but let’s keep it behind the scenes. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it if that’s what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that’s not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don’t want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain’t how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain’t got no problem with the blacks.

The public outcry and upheaval would be absolutely justified and labeled as racist. But will Warren be called out for his ignorance (most stupefying is that even this interviewer let it go)? Probably not. We give free passes for homophobia time and time again, especially in Hip Hop. Like the deeply-closeted sports world, the stigma is so traumatizing that it’s almost a right-of-passage to proudly display one’s homophobia for the world to see.

Sickening, ain’t it?

Music Box: Meet The Old Boss, Same As The, Errr, Old Boss…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRUCE! Rock ‘N’ Roll Savior. The Boss. The “Future Of Rock And Roll”. Senior Citizen?

I know. As hard as it is to believe, Bruce Springsteen hit the BIG SIX-O, and to celebrate, he joined the elite list of Rock icons to have graced the cover of the senior citizen bible, AARP Magazine – the bi-monthly magazine that’s issued to every member of AARP.

Okay, to be fair, the AARP isn’t an organization directed only at senior citizens – it’s an organization for folks who hit the big FIVE-O and over.

But that’s not really the point. One can say that to admit a legend or an icon’s aging is to ponder within your very own soul and realize the truths you sometimes don’t want to admit.

Or, we can accept those truths and be thrilled that by the grace within that aforementioned ‘own soul’, and by the power of those you love and who love you, embrace it. As AARP editor Nancy Perry Graham said:

We put Bruce on the cover first and foremost because he was turning 60,” she said. “Like the rest of America, we found that to be inspiring. Looking at Bruce, he really personifies our message at AARP that attitude matters more than age.

Well-said, Nancy (click to read the Bruce AARP MAGAZINE article).

I’m 20 years behind Bruce and don’t think about old age often. Or I try not to.

Music Box: All You Single Ladies…Don’t Bother

Despite lyrics that sing, “There’s a she-wolf in your closet, open up and let her free…let it out so it can breathe…” there’s nothing closeted here. What makes Andrew Foster’s proudly gay, almost frame-for-frame cover of Shakira’s totally stupid “She-Wolf” video so refreshing is that, where Shakira took her unintentionally hilarious choreography way too seriously (which, considering how disjointed and spastic it was/is, elevates the funny even more), Foster has no illusions of grandeur: he knows he’s emaciated, goofy, a bad lip-syncer, and about as sexy a dancer as skidmarks on a tutu.

This isn’t genius, of course, but unlike most video homages/tributes that have polluted YouTube these past few years, at the very least it’s enjoyable on those levels.

And at the very least, it has to be more entertaining than the upcoming werewolf-saturated “Twilight” sequel, no?