Happy Birthday Uncle Abe, Darwinism and the Devolution of Me

(See below to ‘devolve’ yourself!)

Yep, Abe Lincoln was/is my great, great, great gay/bisexual uncle, via marriage.  Don’t laugh.  While I never researched the truth in that – the ‘uncle’ aspect, not the ‘gay’ facet – I figured why would my mother lie for all those years ago about my heritage?  I know, I know…with the internet in its second decade, you’d surmise that I would at least attempt to uncover the lineage.  But, supposedly, her great grandmother’s sister was Mary Todd Lincoln.

As for the gay speculation, there’s more than enough evidence to suggest that Abe’s obsession with the theater had less to do than merely it being that era’s main source of entertainment.  You can read about it HERE or HERE.

But that’s neither here nor there.  Today marks Abe’s 200th birthday, so Happy Birthday, Uncle Abe.

And, it is also the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin:

Sharing that bicentennial birthday milestone comes with some depressing news for Chuck – appallingly, only 39% OF AMERICANS BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION!  THIRTY-NINE PERCENT!

Here how it breaks down:

So, 25% of Americans are total brain-atrophying idiots and 36% are brain-sterile cuckoos.  At least the 1% stayed true to themselves and didn’t respond.  It boggles te darkest caverns of the mind that in 2009, there are THAT many people who still we dreived from Adam and his rib-made companion, Eve. Oy.

Anyway…in the true spirit of Darwinism, I came across this funky ‘devolution’ website, via TOWLEROAD.  You can ‘devolve’ your self by uploading a pic into their interface.  Here’s what I would have looked like 3.2 million years ago during the Australopithecus afarensis era (or after I wake up after a 13-hour sleepathon on any given Sunday):

Damn, I’m still so strappingly handsome, ain’t I?

Devolve yourself HERE!


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