Legacy: Happy Birthday, Barbara Jean

…this song was written for my mother on July 24, 1984 (but I dedicate it to all mothers). When she died in 1993, I looked at it again and remembered a brief conversation she and I had, shortly before her passing…about how she had forgotten what happiness was truly about, the mistakes she wished she could alter for her children, and how grateful she was to me for “rescuing” her (after years of a miserable existence with my father, we finally left; I saved up all the money I made while working at Tower Records, and found an apartment where we lived with my younger brother, two sisters and nephew). I often wish I had the insight to ask her to elucidate her sudden contemplation, but, sadly, I didn’t. My mother wasn’t a saint, nor a sinner. She was a complicated woman, who lived a complicated, difficult life. She lived as only she knew how, and was as misunderstood by some in my family almost as much as she misunderstood the outside world. Being married to my father all those years was only a hindrance in any elusive illumination…

While it wasn’t her choice to die In April of 1993, I believe she waited until she was away from him…so she wouldn’t die in an unhappy microcosm…and, how, she may have finally found that long lost true happiness…

I loved her, then, now. Eternally.

Happy 73rd Birthday, Barbara Jean Basso…Mother Hindsight…mother of us all…

Mother Hindsight

Silent mother cries in the rain
and asks will it stop coming
in her life the pain remains
No more loving

Quiet mother walks on the moon
bows her head in prayer
the struggle of her million runes
And the wish is still there

In her life nothing ever changes
Nothing remains to dream
When I see her crying in her pillow
I think of the streams
Candlelight in the night
Darken the light
Mother hindsight
Relieve your insight

I hear the echoes of her lifetime
Screaming in my mind
Her kingdom of candlelight seems
to slowly unwind
Quiet mother walks on the moon
bows her head with prayer
Cries for the litany
and wishes she wasn’t there

Silent mother don’t fade away
The tears will somehow pass
Mother Hindsight
Will your sanity last…

@SageSongMusings 1984

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2 thoughts on “Legacy: Happy Birthday, Barbara Jean

  1. My wonderful friend Jeff, as usual your words and dedication to your mother brought me to tears for you and I who lost are mothers – way too soon. To this day I think about, the spiritual connection, presence if you will, when I sang at your mom’s memorial..I still get the chills and still know now, as I knew that day..that mom’s love “never leaves us”..It is eternal and clings to us from beyond the stars and the depths of what we cannot see….but is always, always felt within our hearts.. Happy Birthday Barbara Jean….and “Thank you, Thank you, Thank God for you…The Wind Beneath Our Wings”…my love and respect to you forever…Jeff…

  2. RIP Barbara Jean…Your story described by your son is soooo bluntly honest and filled with such love and compassion. You suffered so, but I hope you know that you brought a one-in-a million boy to this world. Thank you for Jeff, Barbara Jean.

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