Happy Birthday America. It’s been a lot of work and will take a lot more perseverance, but you’re (slowly) getting back on track after nearly a decade of being the town drunk. You’re still making erred decisions that are frustrating, but it’s paradise compared to Dante’s Inferno and the death and destruction of the previous aughts. Still, despite your shenanigans old and new, despite you rwanton ways, and despite the fact that there isn’t really “justice for all”, no matter what the claque says, we’ll always love you and always be thankful that it’s YOU we call home (also, you look fabulous! You’re what, twice maybe three times as old as Joan Rivers and you still look better in stars and stripes!) I’ve never lived in any other country in the world – and I have no desire to – but I might not be wrong declaring you the greatest nation. And on this day, let us all remember the heroes…those who have fallen, and those who rise…our military, for allowing us our great luxuries.