…Jeffrey gave to you… “Where Are You Christmas” by (gads!) Faith Hill.
Now, I realize I just might be losing any musical credibility and trust I’ve gained over the years; I mean, I expect and accept the snickering, but I stand my ground with this one. Who could have imagined that the grimy, dank big-budget Jim Carey version of Dr. Seuss’ eternal HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS would beget a modern Christmas treasure, sung by likes of the bland, Country- politan Faith Hill no less?
Well, that’s exactly what schlock-meister composer James Horner gave us, because what ordinarily serves as an irritant in a standard epic blockbuster (say, “My Heart Will Go On” nearly sinking the great TITANIC) is the norm in a Christmas song – schmaltzy, tingling feelings, swelled with copious emotion is the benchmark of most holiday tunes, and on that point Horner delivers here tenfold. Hill’s natural flair for over-emoting to masquerade a competent-yet-flimsy voice (even here she’s wobbly on the lows and strains on the crescendos) was a good 2nd choice performer (Co-writer Mariah Carey’s version never appeared anywhere, because of some legalities with her ex-husband, and while her 1994 holiday collection is a miraculous anomaly – read about it HERE – I’m not sure the post-divorced Carey, seeped in her Hip Hop harlot insurrection, would have done “Where Are You Christmas” any favors – I can’t imagine it with porn-lite breathiness. So, thanks Tommy Motolla!)
The most magical thing about “Where Are You Christmas” is its universality. It doesn’t belong to Hill; I can imagine a great vocalist doing wonders with the sentimentality of the lyric, the mush of the arrangement, the overt histrionics of the bridge, just as I can envision a neophyte understanding its poignancy. It’s what Christmas songs are made for. And “Where Are You Christmas” is what Christmas songs are made of.
Faith Hill’s original theme from the film…