Author Archives: jeffreychrist

♪♫ Don't Cry For Me, Rue McClanahan...♪♫

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UPDATE March 11 via People.com:

BETTY WHITE SNL Hosting Date Confirmed

Now that over 480,000 Facebook fans have put in their request, Betty White will finally make an appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live.’

The ‘Golden Girls’ actress will host the show on May 8, WNBC News announced Thursday morning (via PEOPLE). The special Mother’s Day episode will also reunite six former female ‘SNL’ cast members: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch.

The show’s creator-producer, Lorne Michaels, admits the Facebook campaign “took on a groundswell.”

“[White as the host] isn’t something we would have said no to, [but the campaign] validated that, ‘Oh, that’d be fun’ … It was the outpouring of affection from fans, and we feel the same way,” Michaels added.

The Emmy-winning actress broke the news earlier this week at the 18th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Viewing Party, but has remained tight-lipped on the full details of her appearance.

While she’s hosting the Mother’s Day special, White has not children of her own. Michaels has an answer for any critics, explaining “She’s the mother of us all in comedy.”

The 88-year-old earned big laughs while accepting her SAG Lifetime Achievement award in January. She followed that with a surprise appearance in a Super Bowl commercial for Snickers. Fans quickly took notice and launched the now-famous campaign.

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At long last, the timeless Betty White has confirmed to People Magazine what nearly 500,000 Facebook fans (including me) have rallied for – she will be hosting an upcoming episode of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE:

When asked by PEOPLE, “Are you doing Saturday Night Live,” she answered, “Yes,” even if she remains perplexed by the groundswell of support.

“I don’t know why or how,” she says, “but it’s been wonderful.”

And with that, we can all say, thank you…for being a friend…

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While it’s always admirable when a ‘celebrity’ – even a pseudo-celebrity as he’s since become – comes out, Sean Hayes’ delayed response to the decade-old inquiries is a case of better late than never.  As popular as WILL & GRACE was in its initial seasons, Hayes’ coyness and flippancy on the subject of his sexuality was an irritant, especially considering his off-screen persona practically mirrored his onscreen Jack McFarland.

But what’s more irksomely correct is his unapologetic proclamation. In the interview, Hayes says he was “never in. Never.”  Well, while that can be argued, mootly I surmise, his insistence that “I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it…” is sorta true.  When WILL & GRACE first aired, and the gay community heralded its groundbreaking season, I called his Jack a “gay minstrel show, like the Wayans Brothers IN LIVING COLORs ‘Men On Film’ on speed”.  Kinda harsh, in retrospect, but as the seasons progressed, McFarland, as well as Will, Grace and the drug-addled Karen characters, became exaggerations, each mired inside their psychological problems, their addictions, paranoia’s, self-indulgences, dementia…ironically making them all the more lovable. And, in an asexual, monochromatic fashion – and for better or worse – his Hayes’ Jack paved the way for every sexless, adorable, persnickety gay curmudgeon for years to come. It can be argued that the onslaught of homo-fabulousness would be lacking in every last reality show currently permeating the airwaves without the birth of Jack McFarland.

Would there be a Logo network without his existence? Probably. But how dull would Bravo be?

As hilarious as your wheelchair-bound grandmother getting slammed by a runaway bus in a horrendous hit and run, left bleeding in the street, while sewer roaches feast on her innards and pigeons peck at her rotting, lifeless corpse.

You know, just like THE JERSEY SHORE!

I never needed an explanation at the story from years ago that told us of the woman who suffered the MARY HART SYNDROME – I can sympathize, going through my own form of mental gyrations at the sound of her voice.  But, who knew that man’s best friends deal with a similar – albeit less painful – predicament during the opening theme to one of my all-time favorite TV shows?

Hasn’t been a stellar year for CDs. Well, rather than blame the output, I’ll blame myself.  It hasn’t been a year I’ve spent hunting or gathering or submerging myself in new music. Whereas, in any given year, I’d hear hundreds of new releases, I’ve barely reached the one hundred mark in 2009.  And the copious amount of hours spent between my headphones didn’t result in too many glorious moments.  Except these.  Here are my twenty favorite moments of musical bliss for the year…the beauty…followed by the beasts…

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LA BELLE

1 K’Naan – Troubadour

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2 Amadou & Mariam – Welcome To Mali

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3 Brad Paisley – American Saturday Night

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4 Maxwell – BLACKsummers’night

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5 Leonard Cohen – Live In London

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6 Neko Case – Middle Cyclone

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7 Antony & The Johnsons – The Crying Light

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8 Marianne Faithfull – Easy Come Easy Go

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9 Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion

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10 Melinda Doolittle – Coming Back To You

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11 Girls – Album

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12 Nirvana – Live At Reading

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13 Willie Nelson & Asleep At The Wheel – Willie and the Wheel

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14 Nellie McKay – Normal As Blueberry Pie: A Tribute To Doris Day

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15 The xx – The xx

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16 Pearl Jam – Backspacer

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17 Miranda Lambert – Revolution

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18 The Dirty Projectors – Bitte Orca

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19 The Avett Brothers – I and Love and You

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20 Mos Def – The Ecstatic

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ET LA BETE

1 Mariah Carey – Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel

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2 Bon Jovi – The Circle


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3 Rob Thomas – Cradlesong

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4 Chris Cornell – Scream

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5 Eminem – Relapse

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6 Rascal Flatts – Greataest Hits Volume 1

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7 Chris Brown – Graffiti

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8 Asher Roth – Asleep In The Bread Aisle

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9 U2 – No Line On The Horizon

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10 Timbaland – Shock Value 2

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Hopefully it’s not too much to ask for a better 2010~

   

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A peculiar thing happened as I sat down to write the list of my favorite films of the decade.  I first thought to pick 10, but that wouldn’t do. Then I listed 15.  Nope.  20? Uh uh.  I couldn’t stop.  As someone who could stream-of-consciously pontificate ad nauseum, I finally disciplined myself to halt at 25 (…or so).  And since that was frustrating enough, I realized to list them in order of preference would clearly be more of an arduous task, so I figured, screw that. Let me take the easy way out and list them alphabetically. You know, the easy way out.

Now, that’s not to say I don’t have one particular favorite – I didn’t need a proverbial gun pointed at my head and told “Pick one, boy, or imma gon’ shoot you” to state that PAN’S LABYRINTH, without hesitation, is it.  No film has haunted me more, both visually and viscerally, than Guillermo Del Toro’s fantasy.  It’s one of the most remarkable films of all time.  That was the easy part.  But what’s a wannabe critic to do?

At first, I wasn’t going to boast such lofty platitudes as to state “I’m a critic”, but then realized, “Hey! I guess I am!”  But really, who isn’t?  If you have an opinion, or some basic knowledge of craft, you are a critic (hat I am not is a film expert).  Film, like music and all arts, is a personal experience, and opinion is individualistic, and what effects/affects one’s soul might alter over time and differ from the friend who sits next to you.  

It’s strange cataloging such a vast amount of cinematic experiences for a whole 10-year span when you consider I haven’t even chosen a Best of 2009 list yet.  I haven’t finished watching some end-of-year releases.  And while I’m looking forward to the unseen, I can’t fathom that any of them could live up to the two revelatory experiences that  I did see in 2009 that join this “decade favorite” shortlist  – the glorious UP, and Kathryn Bigelow’s THE HURT LOCKER.  The former joins the Pixar Parthenon (whose first 11 minutes alone – which include a four-minute soliloquy quietly detailing a love affair from the genesis at childhood to marriage to old age to the inevitable - are some of the most joyful and heartrending moments ever put on-screen and are proof enough of its addition here), while the latter should finally eliminate the Academy’s long-standing history of misogyny; in over eight decades, only three other women have ever been nominated for a Best Director Oscar (Lina Wertmuller in 1976 for SEVEN BEAUTIES, Jane Campion in 1993 for THE PIANO and only a few years ago, Sofia Coppola for 2003s LOST IN TRANSLATION) with no wins.  After deservedly bestowed with just about any and every critics award for Best Film and Best Director, that long-festering Oscar scar should be healed and the award should go to Bigelow.  And she’ll deserve it.  

One thing I noticed while compiling my favorites was how similar my list was in comparison to many other published lists.  Though I don’t remember Spike Lee’s great 25TH HOUR receiving that many rave reviews upon initial release (which at that time I found curious – when I saw the film I immediately elevated it to Lee’s high echelon of masterpieces alongside DO THE RIGHT THING and MALCOLM X), I’m happy that here, at the end of a decade, the film makes multiple showings on various Top 10s.  Better late than never, I surmise.  Other notables were expected (e.g. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, PAN, ETERNAL SUNSHINE) while others’ inclusions I was happily surprised with (who knew so many admired MINORITY REPORT, A.I. and David Fincher’s greatest film, ZODIAC as much as I did?). Others made my list that I couldn’t find on anyone else’s with a fine-tooth comb, accolades notwithstanding (THE DESCENT – the scariest horror film of the decade, and IN THE BEDROOM, a master class in acting by its cast).  See, art is subjective.  

On most ‘best’ lists that you’ll read is David Lynch’s MULHOLLAND DRIVE. I’m usually allergic to Lynch’s trash-pretending-to-be-art oeuvres (most notably the dubiously honored yet detestable BLUE VELVET and WILD AT HEART), and after viewing this confounded curiosity back in 2001, my feelings hadn’t changed. Perhaps a second viewing is in order to at least try to understand the trifecta of critical, hipster and geek appeal.  Or maybe I have better things to do…  

A major exclusion on my list (but whose inclusion on most critics lists is not so startling) is Martin Scorcese’s THE DEPARTED.  Scorcese’s remake of Alan Mak and Andrew Lau’s 2004 INFERNAL AFFAIRS told a solid story, sure, and his direction is flawless, which we could/should always expect from the greatest director alive. But I could not get past the embarrassingly cringe-inducing Jack Nicholson performance. If it’s true that he’s played The Joker for about 20 years now in one form or another in every film since Tim Burton’s gorgeous-looking yet sterile BATMAN (and it IS true, since I’m the one who said it), then his Frank Costello was a compendium of every one of those over-the-top performances he’s given since that film – and for a great actor who has (mostly) coasted on his legend rather than his art these past 2 decades, that’s saying a lot (Oscar be damned, AS GOOD AS IT GETS was pure Lifetime Movie Of The Week. And if you mention THE BUCKET LIST I will get violent). THE DEPARTED is not Scorcese’s best – though certainly not a clunker, but I can’t help but feel his Best Director Oscar was a consolation prize for the multiple he should have won for a lifetime of masterful moviemaking (who can deny that he was robbed for TAXI DRIVER, GOODFELLAS, or RAGING BULL?).  

As I’ve written, I could have continued the list with another 25+ titles but with PAN’S LABYRINTH as my favorite film of the past 10 years, the proceeding, alphabetized 25 (…or so) could be listed in any sequence.  Without agenda, or really much of a formula in my decision-making process, these are the films I gravitated toward more and more, and those which left an indelible heart-print on some subconscious or conscious level. I won’t say these are the “best” films of the decade (I’m not always comfortable making such proclamations) but they are my favorites.   I also won’t be so audacious to claim that my favorites are any better (or not) than yours.  

Remember, art is subjective.  

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25th Hour (dir. Spike Lee 2002)  

  

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A.I. (dir. Steven Spielberg 2001)  

  

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Almost Famous (dir. Cameron Crowe 2000)  

  

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Brokeback Mountain (dir. Ang Lee 2005)  

  

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Children of Men (dir. Alfonso Cuarón 2006)  

  

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City Of God (dirs. Fernando Meirelles & Katia Lund 2002)  

  

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The Descent (dir. Neil Maarshall 2005)  

  

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The Diving Bell And Butterfly (dir. Julian Schnabel 2007)  

  

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Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (dir. Michel Gondry 2004)  

  

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The Hurt Locker (dir. Kathryn Bigelow 2008)  

  

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In The Bedroom (dir. Todd Field 2001)  

  

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The Incredibles (dir. Brad Bird 2004)  

  

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Kill Bill Vol I & II (dir. Quentin Tarantino 2003/4) (I’m counting as one – so sue me – and someone on YouTube was smart enough to mash-up the two trailers)  

  

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The Lives Of Others (dir. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck 2006)  

  

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Million Dollar Baby (dir. Clint Eastwood 2004)  

  

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Minority Report (dir. Steven Spielberg 2002)  

  

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No Country For Old Men (dirs. Joen & Ethan Coen 2007)  

  

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Once (dir. John Carney 2006)  

  

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Ratatouille (dirs. Brad Bird & Jan Pinkava 2007)  

  

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Spirited Away (dir. Hayao Miyazaki 2001)  

  

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There Will Be Blood (dir. Paul Thoman Anderson 2007)  

  

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Up (dirs. Pete Docter & Bob Peterson 2009)  

  

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Wall-E (dir. Andrew Stanton 2008)  

  

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Y Tu Mamá También (dir. Alfonso Cuarón 2001)  

  

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Zodiac (dir. David Fincher 2007)  

  

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A quick P.S. if you will…

There are pangs of guilt for leaving off other favorites that I’ve loved over the years, like the brilliant Romanian 4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS, AND 2 DAYS (2007) by director Cristian Mungiu, Todd Haynes’ astonishing Douglas Sirkian homage FAR FROM HEAVEN (2002), Gus Van Sant’s great 2008 biography of Harvey MILK, the best “monster movie” of the decade, Joo-ho Bong’s great THE HOST, Richard Linklater’s magical 2004 sequel BEFORE SUNSET, Ang Lee’s exhilarating 2000 martial arts epic CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON or Miranda July’s 2005 masterwork ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW.  So let it suffice to say – all worthy. 

And this is not to mention the acclaimed films I never even watched these past years that made many critics lists, including ADAPTATION, LOST IN TRANSLATION, GOSFORD PARK, SIDEWAYS, THE CLASS, CACHE. If you ask me the reasoning behind my flippancy for these much-discussed, mostly applauded works, I won’t have a satisfying reply.  

 

 

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(This is pretty much a repost from last year’s New Years wishes, only the dates have changed and I added a little more verbiage to reflect its relevence…)

 

ABBA, the eternal androids from Sweden – whose music will survive any imminent nuclear holocaust – has arguably the most popular ‘pop’ New Years song (that I can think of off the top of my noggin) with the appropriately titled “Happy New Year”. Without grasping the irony in its seemingly cheerful lyrics, most who hum along don’t realize it’s a depressing, dark and sarcastic tribute to the impending year, and decade, in question. Don’t believe me? Read the lyrics HERE.

While listening to the song recently, especially the last verse before the chorus…

But is it REALLY a HAPPY New Year, ABBA?

 

 

Seems to me now
That the dreams we had before
Are all dead, nothing more
Than confetti on the floor
It’s the end of a decade
In another ten years time
Who can say what we’ll find
What lies waiting down the line
In the end of ‘89

 

 

…I wondered why they hadn’t thought to record multiple versions that would be played every end-of-decade, almost guaranteeing the relevance of the song (although 2019 doesn’t rhythmically or melodically fit into my rambling discourse…) and their timelessness.  

Hum away, enjoy. But, me?  I can’t think of a more glorious way to ring in 2010 than with the Queen of, well, everything, and the late, great Billy Preston, side by side at the piano, elatedly serenading you and me with “Auld Lang Syne” (from David Brenner’s 1980s talk-fest “Night Life”).

 

 

It instills in us the hope that, perhaps if we really try, we could swiftly forgo a most tumultuous 2009 – and any distress the Aughts as a whole might have emanated – and truly believe in ourselves the possibility of a most sanguine new year.  After all…

 

May we all have a vision now and then
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend
Happy new year
Happy new year
May we all have our hopes, our will to try
If we don’t we might as well lay down and die
You and I 

Reality (and logic…and truth…and common sense) gives Creationism a bad name.

 

***That persnickety genius John Lennon was a very spiritual (religious?) man, which goes to show that just because you’re one of the greatest songwriters in history doesn’t automatically mean you’re always the smartest…

 

…Jeffrey wishes you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! HAPPY KWANZAA!!! FELIZ NAVIDAD!!!!  HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!  Whatever your religious or non-religious affiliations, whichever your spiritual or secular proclivities…it is a time of love and retrospect and soul-searching. 

On this 12th day of (Jeffrey)Christ-mas, I give to you my favorite non-traditional Christmas song of them all, a surreal, haunting meeting of two great singers from two disparate generations singing about something so universal.

And what better memo for mankind during the holidays – especially while living in these hellish economic days – than the basic message of “Little Drummer Boy”?  Consumerism has ruled – thus nearly ruined – the holidays for eons, and everyone’s inherent knee-jerk obligation is to spend money to exhibit their devotion for their loved ones…charging credit cards, racking up bills, emptying wallets, the worry that it’s never enough, or the fear that begets guilt that the receiver won’t like it. It’s maddening, really.  Life shouldn’t be that hard-pressed. 

But one needn’t spelunk their dwindling pockets to showcase their declarations. All one really needs to show how they feel about those they love is to play their own drum.  

 

And “Peace On Earth” is a glorious counterpoint…

Peace on Earth, can it be
Years from now, perhaps we’ll see
See the day of glory
See the day, when men of good will
Live in peace, live in peace again

 

Every child must be made aware
Every child must be made to care
Care enough for his fellow man
To give all the love that he can

Peace on Earth, can it be

I pray my wish will come true
For my child and your child too
He’ll see the day of glory
See the day when men of good will
Live in peace, live in peace again

Perchance life can’t be simplified in such idealistic terms, I know. Perhaps “Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy” speaks the words of a naive person who wishes to see the world thrive in peace, and love to rule humanity.  Perhaps. 

Sadly, it isn’t love that makes the world go round – it is money, greed, hatred, intolerance.

But sometimes the simplest of expressions are words to live by…and hope is a dream we can’t afford to lose. 

Peace? Love? Perhaps, one day…

Perhaps.  One day…

 

 

 

 

…Jeffrey gave to you…Stevie Nicks’ version of “Silent Night”…

 

“Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Stevie’s house, not a Gypsy was stirring…”

Stevie’s haunting reading of “Silent Night” was recorded for the A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS charity album in 1987, the first (and the best) in the long line of Christmas albums benefiting the Special Olympics produced by long-time Stevie fan, producer and now chairman of Interscope records, Jimmy Iovine.

AVSC consists of some wonderful holiday tracks (including Eurythmics’ enchanting “Winter Wonderland”, the Pointer Sisters’ jovial “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” (featured as my 7th Day Of (Jeffrey)Christ-mas), Bruce Springsteen’s fantastic “Merry Christmas, Baby” and Run-DMC’s classic “Christmas In Hollis”, accompanied by an even better VIDEO), and needless to say to anyone who knows me – at all - the Stevie Nicks reading of “Silent Night” is amongst my very favorite Christmas recordings.

This sterling version (with two-hit wonder Robbie Nevil lending his vocal) was performed live on the “A Very Special Christmas” TV special that aired on CBS in 1987.  Hosted by “Fame” actress Nia Peeples, it featured some of the album’s artists performing their tracks. The show closed with “Silent Night”. When Stevie sings with her long-time backup singers Lori Perry-Nicks and Sharon Celani, the result is always stunningly ethereal, and here is no exception…blending with Robbie’s call-and-response, this live version is actually more exquisite than the recorded version, and sweeps you away into another dimension.

Open your eyes, and you see a Rock ‘N Roll queen sing in celebration. Close your eyes and you are encompassed by the beauty of the song, the luxurious harmony, and the spirit of the holidays.

 

 

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As an added bonus, here Jimmy Iovine talks about Stevie’s recording