Happy Valentines Day, My Love~

Has anyone ever written anything for you?

In all your darkest hours, have you ever heard me sing?

Listen to me now…you know I’d rather be alone than be without you…

…don’t you know?

Has anyone ever given anything to you?

In your darkest hours, did you ever give it back?

Well, I have…I have given that to you…

If it’s all I ever do…

…this is your song

And the rain comes down…there’s no pain and there’s no doubt

It was so easy to say

I believed in you everyday…

If not for me, then do it for the world…

Has anyone ever written anything for you?

In all your darkest hours, have you ever heard me sing?

Listen to me now…you know I’d rather be alone than be without you…

…don’t you know

So, if not for me then do it for yourself…

If not for me then do it for the world…


Happy Birthday Uncle Abe, Darwinism and the Devolution of Me

(See below to ‘devolve’ yourself!)

Yep, Abe Lincoln was/is my great, great, great gay/bisexual uncle, via marriage.  Don’t laugh.  While I never researched the truth in that – the ‘uncle’ aspect, not the ‘gay’ facet - I figured why would my mother lie for all those years ago about my heritage?  I know, I know…with the internet in its second decade, you’d surmise that I would at least attempt to uncover the lineage.  But, supposedly, her great grandmother’s sister was Mary Todd Lincoln.

As for the gay speculation, there’s more than enough evidence to suggest that Abe’s obsession with the theater had less to do than merely it being that era’s main source of entertainment.  You can read about it HERE or HERE.

But that’s neither here nor there.  Today marks Abe’s 200th birthday, so Happy Birthday, Uncle Abe.

And, it is also the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin:

Sharing that bicentennial birthday milestone comes with some depressing news for Chuck – appallingly, only 39% OF AMERICANS BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION!  THIRTY-NINE PERCENT!

Here how it breaks down:

So, 25% of Americans are total brain-atrophying idiots and 36% are brain-sterile cuckoos.  At least the 1% stayed true to themselves and didn’t respond.  It boggles te darkest caverns of the mind that in 2009, there are THAT many people who still we dreived from Adam and his rib-made companion, Eve. Oy.

Anyway…in the true spirit of Darwinism, I came across this funky ‘devolution’ website, via TOWLEROAD.  You can ‘devolve’ your self by uploading a pic into their interface.  Here’s what I would have looked like 3.2 million years ago during the Australopithecus afarensis era (or after I wake up after a 13-hour sleepathon on any given Sunday):

Damn, I’m still so strappingly handsome, ain’t I?

Devolve yourself HERE!

Her Royal Highness, The Queen

I know the likelihood of witnessing anything quite like this again on the stage of the Grammy Awards is a futile gesture, but because this year’s telecast is tomorrow, here’s a little something to remind anyone and everyone all of this years nominees exactly how absolute great talent is defined:

Agnostic Is The New Black

VS

I often joke with my friends that I claim agnosticism “just in case”.  In all actuality, I could be any various forms of such.  I could be an atheistic agnostic, which is no different from an agnostic atheism.  I’m more likely a pragmatic agnostic or apathetic agnostic (there’s barely a difference).  But, more often than not I will claim good ol’ plain-Jane agnosticism.  Both theism and atheism imbue such finality and, lets face it, presumptuousness  – I mean, who the hell knows?  There is no more proof that a god exists than there is evidence that it is all a fabrication.

I do know that innately I’m more of a skeptic than a believer (i.e. don’t get me started on that great literary work of fiction known as The Bible!).  Maybe I’m an agnostic-bordering-on-atheist, or merely an atheist masqueraded as an agnostic?  Feh.  Labels.

That being said (whatever the hell “that” is, exactly), I came across this article (thanx Rickey) that lists the Top 50 Atheist T-Shirt and Bumper Sticker aphorisms.  These are more truthful than any zealot can attempt to sell me on his or her religion, but I don’t post to offend.  I mean, atheist or theist, or agnostic, this is some funny shit right here!

Top Fifty Atheist T-Shirt and Bumper Stickers

  1. Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
  2. Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
  3. Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
  4. Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
  5. There’s A REASON Why Atheists Don’t Fly Planes Into Buildings
  6. “Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day.”­ God.
  7. God Doesn’t Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
  8. If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
  9. He’s Dead.
    It’s Been 2,000 years.
    He’s Not Coming Back.
    Get OVER It Already!
  10. All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. Edgar Allen Poe.
  11. Viva La Evolución!
  12. Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season
  13. I Wouldn’t Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist
  14. Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
  15. People Who Don’t Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn’t Have Such Funny Beliefs
  16. Jesus is Coming? Don’t Swallow That.
  17. Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
  18. GOD – APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
  19. Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK
  20. God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
  21. God Doesn’t Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
  22. When the Rapture Comes, We’ll Get Our Country Back!
  23. Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic?
    A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.
  24. You Say “Heretic” Like It Was a BAD Thing
  25. I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.
  26. Science: It Works, Bitches.
  27. “Intelligent Design”: Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987
  28. I Found God Between The Sheets
  29. I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent
  30. My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel
  31. Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten
  32. If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
  33. Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia
  34. ALL Americans Are African Americans
  35. I Forget – Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?
  36. I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God
  37. The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
  38. If we were made in his image, when why aren’t humans invisible too?
  39. JESUS SAVES….You From Thinking For Yourself
  40. How Can You Disbelieve in Evolution If You Can’t Even Define It?
  41. Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made?
    A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.
  42. Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex
  43. I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.
  44. WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
  45. The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children
  46. Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War
  47. Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
  48. God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
  49. When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on
    Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out.  Frank  Sinatra.
  50. No Gods. No Mullets.

American Psycho II: The Dark Douche

In case you haven’t heard this by now, here’s the TMZ-leaked audio of Christian Bale’s tirade against a director of photography after he accidentally walked onto the set during a scene in progress during the filming of “Terminator:  Salvation”~

 Not sure if I’m sickened by his vileness or kinda turned on:

 

Bigotry In Motion

Ah!! Homophobia and sports!  A long-standing lovefest unmatched by nothing else.  Here’s the latest example of bigotry in motion:

from JOEMYGOD via John Aravosis from AmericaBlog:

Sayeth John:

One simple question. If the ad called a show of affection between blacks and whites “weird” and “disgusting,” would you find it just as funny? The point of the joke is that a man showing affection to another man is weird and disgusting. It’s subtle homophobia – actually it’s not subtle at all, at one point the one guy moves away from the other out of fear he may touch him. Gay-bashing is not acceptable from ESPN or the NBA, or the idiotic ad firm that came up with this ad. Every year we have a new ad that pokes fun at the notion that a man might show affection to another man. They wouldn’t make fun of inter-racial affection, so why are gays fair game?

And anyone out there who thinks this ad is much ado about nothing, where do you think kids learn to hate gays, and adults learn to kill gays? From their friends, and their icons. Shaq just told millions of kids that it’s weird and disgusting for another guy to show him affection. Lesson learned.

To which I might add, what would the beer-guzzling, fag-hatin’ sports fanatics do if the dozen or so closeted ‘big name’ jocks (and there are at LEAST a dozen) all decided to come out of their multi-million dollar closets at the same time?